致李艾的公开信——An Open Letter to Elle Lee

序言 Preamble

I

李艾，我认真思考过如何以最佳方式给这封信开个好头；但最终，我认为无论怎样，都无法绕过这种接触本身所带来的尴尬。 Elle, I've thought extensively about the best way to open this correspondence with you; but ultimately, I don't think there's a way around the inherent awkwardness of this address.

事实很简单——你根本不知道我是谁。而另一方面，我却对你的职业生涯关注已久。 The simple fact of the matter is—you have no idea who I am. On the other hand, your career is one that I've been paying attention to for quite some time now.

II

自 2022 年夏天起，我一直在内华达的合法妓院中以一种相对默默无闻的状态工作。 I have been working in relative obscurity in the legal brothels of Nevada since the Summer of 2022.

在进入性产业之前——当时我还是一名教师——我花了不少时间研究性工作的不同途径，包括浏览各种经纪公司的网站。 Prior to entering the sex industry—when I was still a teacher—I spent quite a bit of time researching different avenues of sex work, including perusing the agency websites.

当你第一次在莫特利模特经纪公司的官方网站上出现时，就特别吸引了我的注意，从那以后我便一直在关注你的职业发展。 You caught my eye in particular when your profile first went up on the Motley Models website, and I have been following your career ever since.

当我第一次看到你的照片时，被一种深切的潜力感所震撼——而随着你的硬核色情作品逐渐公开，这种感觉只愈发强烈。 I was struck by a deep sense of potential when I first saw your pictures—a sense that only became stronger as your hardcore pornography gradually became available for public consumption.

坦白说，我心中仍有一部分愿意相信，在某个平行的时间线里，我们或许会有过更紧密的联系。 To be frank, there's still a deep part of me that likes to believe that, in an alternative timeline, we might've had a close association.

III

话虽如此，我之所以决定联系你，是因为你在 2025 年 3 月 9 日发布的一段视频，标题是《我的事业毁掉了我的私人生活》。在那段视频里，你在努力理清自己的过去、眼下的处境，以及在这种处境下该如何前行。 That being said, the reason why I decided to reach out to you has to do with a video that you released on March 9th of 2025, entitled My Career Destroyed My Personal Life, where you were struggling to make sense of your past, your current circumstances, and how to proceed given those circumstances.

看到你在与自己人生核心内容的挣扎中痛苦不堪，我很清楚地感受到：你已将自己困在了一个充满混乱、不确定和困惑的牢笼里——而这个牢笼，对我来说并不陌生。 Watching you struggle through the content that is the substance of your life, it is evident to me that you have trapped yourself in a cage of chaotic uncertainty and confusion—a cage I am no stranger to.

IV

随着日子一天天过去，我发现自己被你那段独白深深困扰着，而我不得不问自己为什么。 As the days went on, I found myself extremely bothered by your soliloquy, and I had to ask myself why.

我知道，鉴于我自己在性工作领域的经历，以及与那个牢笼抗争的经验，我也许能够帮到你——但我并不认识你。 I know that, given my own experience both in sex work and in contending with that cage, I might be able to help you—but I do not know you.

V

那么，尝试与你沟通又有什么意义呢？ So, what would be the point in trying to communicate with you?

我的信息能真正传达到你手里的可能性微乎其微。而任何熟悉我和我工作的人都知道，我的人生并不缺少痛苦与折磨；如果我所做出的努力、那些想要提供替代可能性的尝试，最终注定要被虚无吞没——既不会被看见，更别提被采纳——那对我自身的处境也未必是件好事。 The likelihood of my message reaching you would be slim, and anyone familiar with me and my work knows that my own life is in no short supply of pain and suffering, and if my efforts to provide alternatives are simply doomed to be consumed by the Void—never to been seen, let alone used—then that would not exactly bode well for my own condition.

VI

后来，我开始意识到，我想传达给你的信息，或许能对别人有所帮助。 Then, I started to realize that my message to you might be of use to others.

我亲眼见过成千上万的女性，她们和你一样身处类似境况，正胡乱而艰难地尝试在风险极高的性产业世界里摸索前行。 I have witnessed with my own eyes that there are legions of women who find themselves in similar situations to your own, who are haphazardly attempting to navigate the high-stakes world of sex work.

这些其他女性或许愿意倾听，并能从我想传达给你的信息中获益。从这个角度来说，艾尔，你就是一个象征，是所有性工作女性所遭遇困境的具象化代表。 These other women might be willing to listen and benefit from my message to you, and, in that respect, Elle, you are an avatar, an embodied representation of the struggles that afflict every woman in sex work.

VII

艾尔，你现在正处于一种停滞不前、摇摆不定的状态之中。 Elle, right now you are in a state of limbo.

在对你过去的选择进行价值判断时，你正被往不同方向的力量所拉扯，这让你无法确定自己当下的人生处境，也阻碍了你去思考该如何规划未来。 You are being torn in different directions when it comes to making normative assessments about your past choices, which is preventing your ability to determine where you are in your life right now, which is also hindering your ability to determine how to plan for the future.

VIII

你一度倾向于说，你后悔当初进入成人娱乐行业，但你很快又退了一步说，提出这一决定其实在很大程度上帮助了你和你的家庭。 You started to go in the direction of saying that you regretted your decision to go into the adult entertainment industry, but you immediately backpedaled by bringing up the fact that doing so significantly helped yourself and your family.

为什么你会开始尝试说，你后悔做出这个决定呢？ Why is it that you started to try and say that you regretted this decision?

有某种力量在推动你去表达自己对于进入色情行业的后悔，但这种力量却不够强大。 Something is pulling you in the direction to say that you regret going into porn, but whatever is pulling you is not strong enough.

IX

在这种徘徊不定的状态中，你正尝试着不同的叙事结构，以便为自己的过去赋予意义，从而理解当前的处境，并以此来引导你对未来的规划。 While in your state of limbo, you are trying to test different potential narrative structures to help make sense of your past, which then helps you understand your current circumstances in order to guide your planning for the future.

不知道自己身在何处，迷失方向，这是一种极其痛苦而又可怕的状态。 It is an extremely painful and terrifying position to be in to not know where you are—to be lost.

我们每个人都需要一个基本的框架来理解自己所处的位置，而你现在缺乏这样一个框架。 We all need a basic framework in order to understand where we are, and you currently do not have one.

我自己的人生中也多次身陷这种境地，所以我非常清楚地辨认出这种状态。 I have found myself in that position many times in my life, and I recognize it very clearly.

X

在你的视频里，你正在寻找一种我称之为“救赎叙事”的叙事框架。 In your video, you were looking for a narrative structure that I refer to as the "redemption narrative."

它的逻辑是这样的：“我是一个后悔进入色情行业的色情明星，我现在转向宗教，寻求救赎，以一个改变了的女人身份开始新的人生。”——这种叙事相当流行，但却带有病态。 It says, "I am a pornstar who regrets going into porn and I am turning to religion to seek redemption and live a new life as a changed woman," which is a fairly popular—though pathological—narrative to choose.

我能理解，为什么这种叙事在一开始会有吸引力，因为它至少为你提供了一张现成的地图可供遵循。 I can see why choosing such a narrative structure would initially be tempting, because you at least would have an already established map to follow.

XI

然而，你没能在这个方向上走得很远，因为那样做会背离现实的根基。 However, you were not able to go very far in that direction without betraying the fabric of reality.

你退缩了，因为说你后悔进入色情行业，也就意味着你否认了这一决定带来的所有后果。然而其中一个显著的积极后果，正是你能够帮助自己和家人摆脱困窘的经济处境。 You backpedaled, because to say that you regret going into porn is also to say that you regret all of the consequences of doing so, and one of the substantially good consequences that resulted from your choice was the ability to help yourself and your family to get out of a dire economical situation.

你几乎为自己找到了一个解决办法，试着将自己套入一个现成的叙事框架，但由于你自身的逻辑与直觉，这个框架在你面前崩塌了，而这使你陷入了一个令人恐惧的境地——黑暗之中。 You almost had a solution for yourself, trying to fit yourself into an already established narrative, but if fell apart in front of you due to your own logic and intuition, but that left you in a frightening place—the dark.

XII

李艾，你依然迷失着。你依旧不知道自己身在何处。 You are still lost, Elle—you still do not know where you are.

XIII

你感到内心撕裂，因为你清楚地知道有哪里不对劲。你仍然承受着巨大的痛苦。 You find yourself feeling torn because you know something is off—you are still in a lot of pain.

你为进入性产业付出了巨大的牺牲，而这种牺牲带来的结果，对你自己和家人而言，既光荣又值得。然而，为什么你依然深陷如此多的痛苦之中呢？ You made a huge sacrifice by going into sex work and the results of the sacrifice have honorable and worthwhile consequences for yourself and your family, but why are you still in so much pain?

XIV

这同样引出了一个问题：你该如何应对这份痛苦？ That also begs the question, what should you do about the pain?

XV

而这，正是我写下这封信的起点——给你，也给所有处在与你相似处境中的性工作者。 This is where my message to you, and to any other sex worker in your position begins.

第一支柱 The First Pillar

XVI

有两根至关重要的支柱，你必须稳居其上，才能稳定自己，并显著减轻痛苦。 There are two great, significant pillars that you must stand upon in order to stabilize yourself and reduce your pain significantly.

XVII

第一根支柱，是对性工作根本目的的理解；而第二根支柱，则源于一种让我们的人生值得活下去的事物——在某个你始终感兴趣的领域中从事有意义的工作。 The first pillar you must stand upon is the understanding of the fundamental purpose of sex work, and the second pillar emerges from that which makes life for people like us worth living—meaningful work in the field of study that will always be interesting to you.

XVIII

要理解第一根支柱，最好的方式是审视性工作者的工作。 The first pillar is best understood through examining the work of the prostitute.

XIX

作为一名性工作者，当我接待客人时，仿佛一层面纱被揭开，我直面的是男人们的痛苦与苦难。 As a prostitute myself, when I meet a client, there lifts a veil that exposes me to what I am supposed to be directly interfacing with, which is the pain and suffering of men.

我必须对与这种苦难的互动究竟意味着什么有极为清晰的理解，才能确保我充分履行这一角色的要求。 I must command an extremely clear understanding of what interacting with that suffering entails in order to ensure I adequately fulfill the requirements of the role.

XX

来找我的男人，有的是丧偶者，哀悼着他们唯一熟悉的亲密关系的逝去；有的是从未体验过女性最亲密拥抱的处男；有的是被前妻毫不留情抛弃的离婚者；还有的是被经济成功的要求压得喘不过气，以至于毫无现实机会获得真正性慰藉的工薪阶层。 The men who come to me are widowers who are grieving the loss of the only source of intimacy they've known for years, virgins who have never experienced a woman's most intimate embrace, divorcees who were unceremoniously discarded by their former wives, and working men who are so consumed by requirements to economically succeed that they have zero realistic opportunities to find true sexual reprieve.

任何渴望真正理解性工作深层本质的女人，都必须以男性的性困境为核心来理解。我用“困境”这个词，是既有意为之，也极为郑重。 Any woman who desires to truly understand the deepest levels of sex work must be able to center the sexual plight of men, which is a word that I use both very purposefully and very seriously.

XXI

女性在理解男性性健康的重要性方面，似乎普遍存在盲点。 It seems to be the case that women have a blind spot when it comes to understanding the importance of men's sexual health.

就我个人而言，尽管我一直认为性慰藉在我自己的生活中不可或缺——因为我一向性欲旺盛——但我却未能真正看到，男人是多么迫切地需要性来抵御他们的苦难。并且，有许多可以理解的原因，导致男人在青楼之外无法或不愿意获得性。 Speaking for myself, even though I have always found sexual reprieve to be essential in my own life—having always possessed a very high sex drive—I failed to see how badly a man needs sex in order to combat his suffering, and there are many understandable reasons that can contribute to a man's inability or unwillingness to access sex outside of a brothel.

XXII

女性在很大程度上没有意识到，西方世界已逐渐对男性形成性上的敌意。如果我可以冒昧直言的话，在很大程度上，正是女性自己主动在制造这种敌意。 Women are largely clueless to the fact that the Western World has become sexually antagonistic towards men, because—if I may be so bold as to state this publicly—it is largely women themselves who are preemptively conducting this antagonism.

举个例子，只要看看 #MeToo 运动是如何被虚假指控所侵蚀，毁掉了多少无辜男人的生活。 Case in point, just look at how riddled the #MeToo movement became with false accusations that ruined the lives of innocent men.

“永远相信女人”，这是被广而告之的口号。 "Always believe the woman," we were told.

但即便在没那么极端的层面，人们也认为女性主动将性武器化对付男性是完全正常的——从把男人困在关系中，到一边吊着他们，一边依旧游弋于情场。 But even at less extreme levels, people consider it to be completely normal that women actively weaponize sex against men, ranging anywhere from trapping men in relationships to leading them on while still playing the proverbial field.

在过去十年，西方世界不断高谈阔论“公平”和“同理心”的必要性，但在公共话语中，却完全找不到哪怕一丝丝对那些被无声的性绝望彻底窒息的生命的关切。 For the past decade, we here in the West have heard non-stop pontificating about the need for equity and empathy, and yet nowhere can we find a single shred of concern in public discourse for these lives completely smothered by silent sexual desperation.

XXIII

你要明白，提供性服务是性工作的最初形式，也是最根本的形式。其他所有形式的性工作（如脱衣舞或色情片）都只是从这个核心角色——性工作者，所衍生出的枝叶。 You see, prostitution is the original, and most fundamental form of sex work, and all other forms of sex work (such as stripping or pornography) are branches formed from the core, central role that is the role of the prostitute.

换句话说，作为一个妓女，对一个色情明星而言，你所做的，只是我所做之事的衍生物。 In other words, speaking as a whore to a pornstar, what you do is a derivative byproduct of what I do.

XXIV

因为成人电影明星并非在第一线，直面这些男人，所以你作为一名色情演员，可能整个职业生涯都无需正视这样一个现实：性工作者最根本的角色，就是减轻男人的痛苦。 Because pornstars are not the ones who are in the front lines, face-to-face with these men, it's possible for you as a pornstar to go through your entire career without ever needing to squarely confront the reality that the fundamental role of the sex worker is to alleviate the suffering of men.

XXV

要想立足于这根稳定的支柱，你必须理解这个根本的角色。 To be able to stand upon this pillar of stability, you must understand this fundamental role.

你必须理解，作为性工作者，你的角色就是减轻男人的痛苦。 You must understand that your role, as a sex worker, is to alleviate the suffering of men.

XXVI

如果我们承认像乔丹·彼得森博士这样的伟大思想家所说的“最高的道德准则就是尽可能减少世间不必要的痛苦”，而性工作实现了这一目标，那么逻辑上不可否认的结论就是：在这种条件下，性工作本质上是合乎道德的。 If we can grant that great intellectual leaders like Dr. Jordan Peterson are correct to say that the highest moral ethic is to reduce as much unnecessary suffering in the world as possible, and that one's sex work accomplishes this objective, then the logical conclusion is undeniable that sex work under these conditions is inherently moral.

XXVII

我想强调的是——把你的身体卖给男人，并不等同于把你的灵魂卖给魔鬼。 The point I'm trying to emphasize to you is this—selling your body to men is not supposed to be tantamount to selling your soul to the Devil.

XXVIII

我可以以认知上的确定性，基于我自己的经验告诉你：当性工作做得妥当时，它可以是一份体面的工作。 I can say with epistemic certainty, from my own experience, that when done well, sex work can be honorable work.

就连你自己也承认，你能够通过性工作，大大减轻你自己和身边人的痛苦。 Even by your own admission, you yourself were able to use sex work to greatly ease the suffering of both yourself and of those around you.

XXIX

对于任何真正理解这一点的性工作者来说，任何公众的恶毒指责，试图将她定罪为“道德堕落”，都完全站不住脚。 To any sex worker who sufficiently understands this, any public vitriol trying to condemn her of moral degeneracy cannot possibly hold any weight.

这种在立足于元结构层面的，作为所有形式的性工作的支撑，是无法被动摇的。 This level of grounding in these meta structures that ought to uphold all manifestations of sex work is simply unassailable.

如果你站在这样的支柱上——“性工作者的角色是减轻男人的痛苦，这是一个光荣的角色”——那么这种信念的稳定性会带来一种心理上的安宁，这对于任何身处此行业的女性的幸福感，都是绝对不可或缺的。 If you stand on the pillar that says, "the role of the sex worker is to alleviate the suffering of men, which is an honorable role," the stability of such a conviction can bring you a level of psychological repose that is absolutely imperative for the well-being of any woman in this business.

XXX

如果你试图抛弃这根支柱，而选择相信“性工作天生就是坏的”，你会严重动摇自己的根基，并陷入一个连你自己都承认不相信的立场。 If you try to cast off this pillar in favor of the claim that sex work is inherently bad—you are going to be seriously destabilizing yourself and committing to a position that you yourself admittedly do not believe in.

XXXI

没错，你牺牲了过上所谓“正常生活”的可能性；是的，那扇门对你而言已经永远关闭。 Yes, you sacrificed the ability to ever have a normal life, and yes, that is a door that will never reopen for you again.

但，李艾，你用那份牺牲换来了另一种机会——去拥有一个充满冒险、既极度丰盈又极其有意义的人生。而这就引出了第二根支柱。 But Elle, you traded that in for the opportunity to have an adventurous life that is both extraordinarily prosperous and meaningful, which brings me to the second pillar.

第二支柱 The Second Pillar

XXXII

尽管你确实为自己和家人获得了相当可观的经济利益，但仅凭这种利益，远不足以抵消你所做牺牲带来的痛苦与折磨。 Though the economical benefit you received was indeed substantial for yourself and your family, that benefit alone is not sufficient to counteract the pain and suffering from the sacrifices you have made.

这种利益似乎足以防止你彻底崩溃，但这只是暂时的；如果置之不理，这种痛苦只会随着时间而愈发增长。 This benefit seems to be substantial enough to keep you from completely going off the deep end, but this is only temporary, and when left idle, this pain will only grow with time.

XXXIII

如果金钱是你为牺牲所获得的唯一回报，如果你得到的仅仅是金钱，那么你要么做了一笔糟糕的交易，要么做了一笔不公平的交易，甚至可能两者兼具。而这一点在你拍摄那段视频时所表现出的明显痛苦与不安中，已显而易见。 If money is the only benefit you receive for your sacrifices, if money is all you get, then you either made a bad trade, an unfair trade, or very possibly both—which is evident given the amount of visible pain and discomfort you were in when you made that video.

这就引出了一个问题——什么才算是一笔好的，而且公平的交易？ This begs the question—what does a good and fair trade look like?

XXXIV

按定义而言，公平的交易是指双方在交换之后都各有所获。 A fair trade, by definition, is one in which both parties are better off for having engaged in the exchange.

在我的职业中，我不断进行这种交易：我协商出卖我的身体（以及减轻痛苦）来换取一大笔金钱。 I engage in trade constantly in my profession, where I negotiate selling my body (as well as the amelioration of pain) for a large sum of money.

将我的脸与身体在网络上公开展示，意味着我用我内心所谓的“平民身份卡”进行交换，以此换取一种能力——在短时间内合乎道德地赚取大量金钱。 Advertising my face and my body online means that I have traded what I internally refer to as my "civilian card" to gain the ability to ethically make a large amount of money in a small amount of time.

XXXV

举例来说，你在视频中提到，你在约会和维持社交生活方面遇到困难。 Case in point, you mention in your video that you are experiencing difficulties dating and maintaining a social life.

你谈到自己在公共场合会被人认出是因为你的色情作品，这实际上迫使你不得不将个人身份“蒂芙尼”与艺人身份结合在一起。 You talk about going out in public and getting recognized for your pornography, which functionally amounts to circumstances compelling you to combine your personal identity of "Tiffany" with your stage identity.

但，李艾，冒着说得过于直白的风险，我必须指出——这些选择，只属于那些仍然保有“平民身份卡”的女性。 But Elle, at the risk of stating the obvious, these are options that are afforded to women who retain their "civilian cards."

这些，正是妓女们必须牺牲掉的东西，以换取这一角色所带来的巨大收益。 These are all examples of things that whores must sacrifice in order to access the enormous benefits that come with the role.

XXXVI

更具体地说，你正面临着一系列不同问题的叠加，而这些问题没有一个应该让你感到意外。这意味着在你进入色情行业之前，就应该已制定出应对所有这些后果的方案。 To speak more specifically, you are encountering an amalgam of different problems, none of which should have caught you by surprise, which means that you should have already established procedure to counteract all these consequences before you even went into porn.

第一个问题仅仅是“名声”，这是一种无法避免的副产品，当你的工作获得关注时，它必然随之而来——而这绝不仅限于性产业。 The first is simply notoriety, which is an unavoidable byproduct of one's work gaining traction, and that is by no means unique to the sex industry.

然而，这也与一个固有禁忌发生冲突：即你公开展示了自己性方面的极度放纵。 However, that's also colliding with the inherent taboo of publicly advertising the fact that your sexual scruples are extremely loose.

后一方面完全可以单独开设一整个研讨会来讨论，但我在此仅作简短提及，因为你明确说过，由于被排斥在约会市场之外，你因此感到孤独。而坦率地说，我并不完全确信你真正理解为什么会发生这种情况。 This latter point is a subject that could fill an entire seminar by itself, but I mention it briefly here because you specifically mentioned loneliness as a direct consequence of getting frozen out of the dating market, and frankly, it's not entirely clear to me that you fully understand why that's happening.

XXXVII

是的，各类网红这些年来一直在谈论女性的“性伴侣数量”，但我至今没见过有人解释，为什么男人在意女性的“高“性伴侣数。 Yes, influencers of all kinds have, at this point, been talking about female body count for years, but I have yet to see anyone explain why men care about female body count being "high."

你需要理解的是：男人的性伴侣数量，构成了衡量女人性伴侣数量的标准。 What you need to understand is this—a man's body count is the standard that measures a woman's body count.

一个有过100个性伴侣的男人，很可能不会介意与一个有10个性伴侣的女人约会；但一个只有1个性伴侣的男人，则很可能会介意。 It is highly unlikely that a man with a body count of 100 would have a problem with dating a woman with a body count of 10, but it is highly probable that a man with a body count of 1 would.

再加上两个双重因素：A) 对大多数男人来说，要达到哪怕是一个普通荡妇的性伴侣数量都极其困难；B) 而你，李艾，从事的是一种会让你的性伴侣数量远远超过即便是最狂热荡妇的职业。这样一来，你在约会中遇到的困难，就开始变得可以理解了。 Add to this the double-layered consideration that A) it is extremely difficult for most men to rack up a body count that's comparable to a mediocre slut, and B) you, Elle, are in a profession that will give you a body count that will far exceed even the most zealous of harlots, and your difficulties in finding dating success should start to become more understandable.

XXXVIII

正如你已经发现的那样，放弃你的“平民身份卡”确实是一笔重大交易，必须以某种极其值得的事物来对冲，才能称之为一笔好交易。 As you have already discovered, trading in your "civilian card" is indeed a serious trade, and must be counteracted with something incredibly worthwhile in order for this to be a good trade.

XXXIX

那么，这会是什么呢？ And what might that be?

就是能够自由追求对你而言极具意义的工作——那种你永远都会感兴趣的工作——并且能将其投入到世界之中，从而证明你存在的价值。 The ability to freely pursue work that is deeply meaningful to you—work that you will always be interested in—being able to put work into the world that justifies your existence.

XL

那，就是第二根支柱。 That is the second pillar.

那就是，你让生命中的痛苦变得值得承受的契机，李艾。 That, Elle, is your shot at making the suffering in your life worth bearing.

XLI

以我自己为例——我能够将多余的时间投入到对我重要的项目中，从而让我逐渐接近一个这样的世界：我的有意义的工作足够盈利，可以支撑我的生活。 Citing myself as an example—I am able to invest my surplus time into the projects that are important to me, thereby bringing me closer to a world in which my own meaningful work is sufficiently profitable to support my life.

从根本上说，这正是维系我内心稳定、并让我能够继续从事这份对身心都要求极高的卖淫工作的关键所在。 This, fundamentally speaking, is precisely what keeps me internally stable and preserves my ability to do my physically and psychologically demanding prostitution job.

XLII

这两根支柱，就是你在面对不确定性、批评和痛苦时，能够立足其上的根基。 These two pillars are what you can stand upon in the face of uncertainty, criticism, and suffering.

XLIII

就你目前的处境而言，现状表明你所做的交易并不值得。 The status quo in terms of your own present state indicates that the trade you have made is not currently worth it.

然而，你仍然可以将这两根支柱作为稳定的基石。如果你懂得如何维护并逐步巩固这份基础，你就有可能让自己所做的交易转变成一笔无可否认的好交易——使你能够坚定地站在自己的选择上，怀着毫不动摇的自信与理所应当的自豪。 However, you can use these pillars as your foundation of stability, and if you understand how to maintain and then build up that foundation, you can work to potentially turn the trade you have made into one that is undeniably worthwhile—where you can firmly stand upon your choices with unwavering assuredness and well-earned pride.

如何运用这些支柱 Using These Pillars

XLIV

这两根支柱在对抗因进入性产业而带来的牺牲与痛苦时，能发挥极大的作用。但要真正有效地利用它们，一个人必须能够：维持其性产业事业的运作，保持追求“恒久兴趣”的能力，并制定一个稳妥的退出策略。 These two pillars can be incredibly useful when combating the suffering that comes with the sacrifices made when going into sex work, but in order to use them in a viable manner, one must be able to sustain one's sex work business, maintain one's ability to pursue one's perpetual interest, and have a solid exit strategy.

XLV

正如你所知，单单选择进入性产业，并不意味着你就会自动持续获得经济上的成功。 As you know, simply electing to go into the field of sex work does not mean automatic continued financial success.

人必须建立必要的基础设施，来为事业带来稳定性和可持续性。你提到过，你决定完全为自己的品牌负责，而这显然让你难以承受，尤其是在你脱离经纪公司与主流色情制作公司之后，把时间都投入到经营你的 OnlyFans 账号上时。 One must build the infrastructure necessary to bring stability and sustainability to one's business. You mentioned how you decided to completely take responsibility for your entire brand, which understandably became too much for you, particularly after branching off from agencies and mainstream porn production studios and spending your time building your OnlyFans account.

我理解你想确保自己的品牌得到保护——毕竟，你所出售的正是你的形象。 I understand that you wanted to ensure that your brand was protected—it is your likeness that you are selling, after all.

XLVI

我们都知道，有太多的 OnlyFans 模特把所有的工作都交给经理、助理或一个团队。 As we all know, there are way too many cases of OnlyFans models who designate all of the work to managers, assistants, or a team.

这样一来，品牌会受损，因为这种模式强迫在短时间内创造大量内容，并维持与众多客户的一对一互动。结果就是，这种商业模式如今已让市场被内容和互动过度饱和，而消费者的满意度反而不足。 In doing so, a brand suffers, because there is the insistence on creating a large amount of content in a short amount of time and maintaining one-on-one conversations with a large number of customers, which is a business model that—at this point—has completely saturated the market with content and interactions that are less than satisfactory to the consumer.

XLVII

完全可以理解，你会认为这种模式的替代方案就是完全由自己来运营。这样确实能保证业务的“真实”，因为顾客确实在和你本人互动，而你也对发布的内容拥有完全的掌控权。 It is totally understandable to think that the alternative to such a business model is to simply run it all by yourself, as that is one way to ensure the ethical nature of the business, because your customers are certainly getting a genuine interaction with you, and you have complete control over the content that is published.

此外，社会中还存在一种奇怪而阴暗的推动力，特别鼓励女性完全独立地经营事业。 There also exists a peculiar and sinister impetus from society that specifically encourages women to run businesses fully independently.

XLVIII

这种自千禧一代和 Z 世代女性出生以来就充斥她们耳目的后现代女权话术，实际上严重伤害了性工作者。 This postmodern feminist rhetoric that has inundated every Millenial and Gen-Z woman since birth does a grave disservice to sex workers.

例如，那种所谓“独立女强人”的观念，本身就是荒谬的。 To wit, the idea of a so-called "independent girlboss" is completely absurd on its face.

XLIX

男人从不这样说——你从未听过哪个男人自称是“独立老板”，因为要成为某事的“老板”，按定义而言，就不可能完全独立。 Men never talk like this—you never hear any men referring to being an "independent boss" because in order to be a "boss" of something, one by definition cannot be fully independent.

如果你是独立的，那你究竟是“谁的老板”？——你自己吗？ If you are independent, who are you a boss of, exactly—yourself?

L

任何渴望经营事业的人，都必须首先理解“角色分工”的重要性。 Anyone who aspires to run a business must first understand the importance of role delegation.

性工作也不例外。无论是线下还是线上，一个性工作者所承担的角色数量，远远超过了单凭一人所能长期维持的范围。 Sex work is no different. The number of roles that a sex worker takes on—whether in person or online—is far more than a single person can sustainably undertake.

理想情况下，事业会迅速发展，但这也意味着工作量必然增加。 Ideally, a business will grow quickly, but that also means that the workload will increase as well.

这也完全解释了你所说的：你的工作完全吞噬了你个人生活的各个方面，甚至影响到你满足最基本需求的能力，例如社交和睡眠。 This perfectly explains your testimony about how your work life completely consumed all aspects of your personal life and seeped into your ability to take care of basic needs like social interactions and sleeping.

这有什么奇怪的吗？ And is it any wonder?

你在短短几个月内，就从完全默默无闻跃升为色情明星。 You crossed over from complete obscurity into pornography stardom within a matter of months.

你的事业影响力急速扩张，而相应的工作量自然也随之而来。 Your business reach exploded, and the requisite workload naturally and necessarily followed suit.

LI

角色分工当然有可能做到合乎道德，同时不会牺牲内容的质量，也不会损害你与客户互动的真实性。 It is certainly possible that role delegation can be ethical and done without sacrificing the quality of your content or the authenticity of your customer interactions.

例如，你可以将内容策划和视频剪辑委托给有能力的人，这样你就能节省时间和精力，把重点放在整体健康、构建有意义工作的基础设施，以及最大化与客户的真实互动上。 For example, it is possible to delegate content production ideas as well as video editing to competent individuals, saving yourself time and effort so that you can focus on your overall health, building the infrastructure of your meaningful work, and maximizing genuine interactions with your customers.

你仍然可以深度参与制作过程，并对品牌发布的内容拥有最终决定权，但不必再花费数小时去剪辑视频，或去思考下一步该拍什么。 You still can be heavily involved in the production process and have the final say as to what is published by your brand, but you do not have to spend hours editing content or planning what content to film next.

LII

一旦你能通过提高时间与金钱的效率比并合理分工，来平衡你的性产业事业；并能通过梳理过去与理解当下，来稳定心理状态；那么接下来还有一项任务，是性工作者必须完成的、最重要的事情。 Once you are able to balance your sex work business by maximizing your time-to-money ratio and delegating roles, and stabilize yourself psychologically by being able to map out your past and understand your current circumstances, there is one more task that is by far the most important thing for a sex worker to do.

LIII

你必须制定一个可行的退出策略。 You must construct a viable exit strategy.

这一点基本到几乎无需明说，但还是要强调：没有哪个性工作者愿意因财务被迫继续贩卖自己的性魅力，而与此同时，她的“性市场价值”却注定会随着时间而下降。 This truth is so basic that it's almost absurd to say it out loud, but no sex worker wants to be in a situation in which her finances compel her to continue trying to sell her sex appeal as her sexual market value is set to decrease with time.

不仅因为性市场残酷地偏向年轻女性，使赚钱变得更困难，而且女性在性产业待得越久，对其身心健康的消耗也越大。这一点在其他行业也存在，尤其是运动员为例。 Not only does it become more difficult to make money due to the harsh reality of the sexual marketplace's favor toward younger women, but the longer a female is in the sex industry, the more of a toll it can take on her well-being. This is also true in other industries, particularly for athletes, for example.

LIV

在性产业中，如果经营得当，职业生涯应当极具盈利性，但它终究是短暂的——职业运动员也一样——这自然引出了一个问题：那么，短暂之后，接下来是什么？ A well-executed career in the sex industry is supposed to be enormously lucrative, but it is, nevertheless, transitory—which is also the case for professional athletes—which naturally begs the question—transitory to what, exactly?

当然，我们可以笼统地说，性工作者需要将资源投入到一个不再依赖“主动贩卖性”的事业中，以继续满足经济需求。但这还远远不够具体。 Of course, we can say generically that a sex worker needs to invest her resources into an enterprise that will continue to economically provide for her needs without relying upon her actively continuing to sell sex in whatever form or format, but this is not specific enough.

LV

凭借性产业所应获得的资源，女性完全可以在退休后通过多种不同方式继续创造可观收入——这一点毫无疑问。但这并不是回归“平民生活”。 Armed with the level of resources that ought to be gained from sex work, a woman can continue to generate substantial income in a multitude of different ways after retiring from the sex industry—there's no doubt about that—but this is not a return to civilian life.

那永远不可能，任何想要否认这一点的尝试，都是自欺欺人。 There's no way it could ever be, and any attempt to the contrary would be delusional on its face.  

LVI

像拉娜·羅德斯这样的例子清楚地表明，仅凭稳定而可靠的收入，永远无法证明你牺牲掉“平民身份卡”是值得的。 Examples like Lana Rhoades clearly demonstrate that stable and reliable income alone will never be able to justify the sacrifice of your civilian card.

过一段时间，沉寂终将降临，而你所剩下的，只有你“妓业”的遗产。 After some time, the silence will set in, and you will only be left with the legacy of your harlotry. 当那一天到来时，你必须在生命中拥有某种积极而有力的东西，足以抵抗这种沉重。否则，它会压垮你，李艾。而唯一能成为这种抵抗力量的，就是以下的事情。 When that day comes, you must have something active and dynamic in your life sufficiently robust to push back against that weight, otherwise it will crush you, Elle, and there is only one thing left that it can be.

LVII

你必须拥有一个“恒久兴趣”来作为你生活的根基——这是一个你永远渴望深入、且永远不会厌倦的研究领域。 You must have a Perpetual Interest to base your life upon, which is a field of study about which you always want to know more of and which you will never get bored.

这，正是“有意义工作”的源泉——一种对你而言天生重要的工作。 This here is the wellspring of meaningful work—work that is inherently important to you.

在那里，你将有机会为世界做出你最大的贡献。 This is where you have an opportunity to make your largest contribution to the world.

正是你对这种工作的奉献，最终会对抗你的痛苦，并将你锚定在一种深度与意义的层次上——而这种层次，大多数在“静默绝望”中度日的平民，一生都无法体验。 It will be your dedication to this work that will ultimately combat your suffering, and anchor you to a level of depth and meaning that most civilians in their lives of quiet desperation never get to experience.

如果你能做到这一切，那么你交出的“平民身份卡”绝对会是值得的。 Do all these things, and the trading in of your civilian card can definitely be worth it.

LVIII

最后，我想与你分享一个中文成语：“惺惺相惜”。它表达的是在相似领域中奋斗的人们之间，所能感受到的那种心心相印的亲近感。这也是对我此刻心境的最好诠释——这些话，本是我希望在与你建立更紧密的联系时，能够与你分享的。 In closing, I want to share with you a Chinese 成语 that goes "惺惺相惜," which refers to the affinity that people operating in similar spheres can feel for one another, and is an appropriate rendering of my sentiments here, for these are all things that I wish I could've shared with you in the context of a much closer association.

也许有一天，如果天意允许，我们能有机会合作，甚至可能同台出现。 Maybe one day, if providence wills it, we can have the opportunity to work with each other—maybe even on-screen.

LIX

否则的话，我也希望，至少你能从这封信的内容中获得持久的益处。 Otherwise, I hope that at the very least you will be able to derive enduring benefit from the content of this missive.

LX

好好照顾自己，李艾，永远不要忘记，始终要向上追寻⋯⋯ Take care of yourself, Elle—and never forget to keep aiming up...

芮禧娜 Sheena Rheed